Balance is about humility.

This is what my yoga teacher told me at one of my last yoga classes. And, you know, it's true.

Humility is letting that ankle wobble instead of working to keep it still. Humility is becoming still, and quiet, and silencing the internal running dialogue. Humility is opening yourself to your own body, letting it simply be.

Humility is standing before the universe and realizing how very small you are.

And loving it without condition, without thought.

My Dancer and Tree poses have gotten a lot better, recently.

I was walking with Graham into the natural area near my house last night. We were looking at the stars and the lights that betray human life, and listening to the ducks.

As we turned back, I said, "This is my world. It's...kind of big. And it's got trees in."

Sometimes, a want surfaces in me, and circumstances fall so I can fulfill it almost immediately. I'd been talking about getting a laptop, because I'm spending so much time at places that weren't home. I'd been drooling over the Thinkpad x40s, but realizing that I can't spend $3k total on a machine, I had put off the thought for a while.

I was muttering to myself about this, and decided to go look in my company classifieds and see what people had. A few pages back, I found a model that's much like the x40, only a little older; in some ways, a more solid machine, but with a bit shorter battery life.

I looked at it and the price was right, and I just shook my head, realized that the universe was wanting to tell me something, and I shrugged and bought it.

So I am now the owner of a Thinkpad x31 ultralight laptop named Jadea. It's a bit over three pounds, and the keyboard is really comfortable for typing on. I've been having a lot of fun with it; I just went to lunch and took it with me, and was editing novel stuff while I ate. And this means I can do gaming recaps during gaming, which will help with my recall of things. I'm still in the process of configuration (and setting up my house for wireless networking) but overall, you know, hooray!

Spring is most definitely here, and with it my social life has simply exploded. This coming Monday is the first time I'll not have anything social to do in the evening since last Friday (and I have to work)--between dinners and dates and everything else, I've just had a lot of things to do and a lot of people to do them with.

I'm handling it mostly pretty well; getting the exercise I need to do done, and everything. The house and the cats are feeling neglected, but once things calm down I can spend a little more time with both.

And speaking of spring...well. Remember how I said that my dance card was full?

Turns out there's at least a *little* more room on it.

I've liked Graham for ages, but never got the impression that he ever liked me as anything other than a friend, so I let it drop and simply enjoyed having him as a friend. But, lately, something's shifted; attraction's snuck in, especially as I started spending more one-on-one time with him.

And, well, as these things happen, it's blossomed into something more. And it's lovely and happy and good and everything, and i'm having a lot of fun with him.

I had a long chat with my goddess about it. (That's "chat" in the "Kris expresses meepery about what the hell the divine is thinking" sense of the word.) Basically going, "This is wonderful, but, um, when exactly am I supposed to sleep?"

And she laughed at me. She does that, a lot. She said, Let the time take care of itself; it will, if you let it and don't worry about it. This is where you're supposed to be.

That last isn't as comforting as it sounds. Being where I'm supposed to be doesn't always equate with being comfortable, especially when she's intent on teaching me something. But, having made the decision to trust the world and her, I won't complain. I'm having far too much fun right now to give up any of it.

And, yes, things with Bryan and Laura are wonderful, as well. It seems like every time I see them, I find more reasons to love them, both together and separately. This week, I'd seen them almost every night; when we had a movie night at my house on Thursday, Laura said something about me seeing them so much, was I sick of them yet?

And my answer was immediate, and visceral: no.

Not only am I not sick of them, I didn't see them last night and (though I was having a wonderful time) I was occasionally turning to look for one or both of them, wanting to comment on something or point something out.

I've been dating Laura for a bit over a year; Bryan for almost six months. I've still got NRE really badly, the fun NRE that doesn't involve awkwardness or nervousness. I am unabashedly schmoopy about both of them. And I miss them when I don't see them.

All around, life is very, very good right now.

We went to Norwescon the other day, ostensibly to look for rings (didn't find any we liked; we're going to end up getting them made, probably).

Bryan and I wandered over to the information booth there so he could ask where the publisher's table was. I wandered off after a couple of minutes because, let's face it, I'm distractible. (So many shiny costumes! Shiny!)

Evidently, the guy at the table asked Bryan, "Is she with you?" Bryan said, "uh, who? Her? Yes. Why?"

The guy at the table said, "Wow, she has such a beautiful face! Very, very striking."

I caught the end of this and turned, realized they were both looking at me, and said, "What?"

(I also found a number of people in the huxster's room looking at me as if they recognized me, but not recognizing any of them. If one of them was any of you, I apologize for not recognizing you. If it wasn't, um, why was everyone staring at me?)

I am, evidently, very shiny recently. Happiness overspill on to everyone around me, I think. I am not complaining.

The day that we went to Norwescon is actually in my head as one of the Best Days Ever. Near perfect, actually.

It was Good Friday, and I took off of work, so I spent Thursday night at Bryan and Laura's house. There was much snuggling after we woke up, and then we went to drop off some paint cans and get lunch. We came back and Greg (Laura's other sweetheart) was there, and we took off for Norwescon.

After that, we went to Queen Anne to an optical shop where I ordered a pair of glasses for myself, and then stopped by Queen Anne books to see someone I know who works there. After coffee at El Diablo, we wandered back down the hill and down to Renton. Ryan showed up, and there was hot tubbing and snuggling and I got to wander around the backyard naked except for flipflops.

It was a low-key and wonderful day, filled with people who were all getting along with each other, and affection and joy and sunshine.

We had Easter dinner at Storm and Jen's house last weekend, and as usual, I took pictures.

Foliage:

Apples: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5
Quince blossoms
Rosemary
A red tulip, lit from inside by the sunset
Willow leaves
Daffodils
Dandelions: blossom and seedhead
Wysteria buds
Tulip with spider
Watermelon

People:

Laura
Katy and Seth
Ray shows off his new camera to the group
Seth in the top of a tree
Jen
Bryan and Andrew
Graham
Graham, Laura, Caroline, and Katy's nose

Self-portraits:

Goofy grin
FEAR THE HAT
In a tree

"Words to live by: don't play with anything you don't plan to eat."

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