Friday April 01, 2005: triad
It's always difficult, to say what I mean. Because what I mean and what I can tell you are two very different things. I'm a writer in large part because there are so many things inside of me that there are no English words for. And nobody but me speaks the language in which there are words for them in.
But, here. Let me see if I can actually finish this story this time.
One:
The Iowa Memorial Union had a cubicle maze in its basement, a large space that felt indescribably tiny and a well-lit space that none the less felt dim and dingy, where various student groups brooded and plotted. For whatever reason, all three of the groups I belonged to--ISCA, River Valley Writers, and the West Side Players--were lodged in the same cubicle. I was a sophomore in college and I spent a lot of time there.
It was twelve years ago.
Laura was getting her master's in social work, and my boyfriend of the moment (and that moment lasted, off and on, almost a year) worked for her at his work-study job. We met in that little cubicle, me remembering her posting, "It's Beltane. It is your civic duty to go out and fuck in the fields!" and giggling to myself.
The next thing I knew, I was being invited to join the gaming group she was a part of.
Three years went by, and she was a good friend by the time I fled Iowa. She and her partner arrived in Seattle a year after I did, and eventually gaming started up once more. Relationships changed configuration, me moving ceaselessly from subject to object and back. Eventually, she married a guy named Bryan. She and he and I hung out together, traveled together, and more or less were good friends.
Two:
I actually don't remember when I met Bryan. He claims that I showed him my nipple pierce the first time he met me, which is entirely in character for me and I don't doubt it a bit. But there was a lot of other stuff going on in my head and all I really remember is that he was part of the group when gaming started up again. I noticed he was cute, of course, in a sort of abstract way. I wasn't being particularly attracted to guys at that point, so anything beyond that just didn't register.
He was quite firmly in the "friends" category until after I started dating Laura. At that point, I recall actually noticing that he was pretty cute, but I wasn't about to do anything about it.
Until, you know, I did. And things fell together like puzzle pieces.
Three:
We've known for a while that I was going to move in with Laura and Bryan. When was up in the air, but recently we decided to draw the proverbial line in the sand, and say, "There. That is when we are moving." When, it turns out, is "the end of September, this year".
And during the conversation that sprang from this decision, I mentioned that I've been thinking to myself, "I want to marry Bryan and Laura." When I asked myself why, the answer always came back, "Because I've found the people I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I just want to say it."
So we talked about that for a while, and sort of left it at that.
A couple of days later, it was Sunday, and gaming as usual. Things were a little bit odd, but it wasn't until they whisked me away, alone, directly after dinner that I started wondering what was up.
And then we passed the normal turn we take to go home.
And then we got on I-5.
We ended up in a little forested area by a beach in Burien, where both of them got down on one knee and asked, "Will you marry us?"
I believe my response was something like, "Of course I will!"
Afterwards, we went to Dilettante for rich desserts and much glowing.
It's been almost a month. I'm still glowing.
Four:
We set a date--May 6th, 2006. (We were thinking September until we realized I'd be in the middle of moving at that point, and we want to do an outdoor ceremony.) We're doing planning for this, and planning for me selling my house, and a million and a half other details that need to be taken care of.
But the best part, and the most important part, is that I'm involved with two of the most wonderful people on the planet. (More than that, actually. Three of the most wonderful people on the planet, but I'm only marrying two of them.) Laura's been a part of my life for so long that I can't imagine life without her, and both of them are kind to me in ways that very few people have ever been.
It is such a rare and precious gift that's been given to me, and I am still constantly amazed by it.
I think I may well be one of the luckiest girls in the whole world.
Actually, I know I am.
(P.S. I'm planning to wear red.)
But, here. Let me see if I can actually finish this story this time.
One:
The Iowa Memorial Union had a cubicle maze in its basement, a large space that felt indescribably tiny and a well-lit space that none the less felt dim and dingy, where various student groups brooded and plotted. For whatever reason, all three of the groups I belonged to--ISCA, River Valley Writers, and the West Side Players--were lodged in the same cubicle. I was a sophomore in college and I spent a lot of time there.
It was twelve years ago.
Laura was getting her master's in social work, and my boyfriend of the moment (and that moment lasted, off and on, almost a year) worked for her at his work-study job. We met in that little cubicle, me remembering her posting, "It's Beltane. It is your civic duty to go out and fuck in the fields!" and giggling to myself.
The next thing I knew, I was being invited to join the gaming group she was a part of.
Three years went by, and she was a good friend by the time I fled Iowa. She and her partner arrived in Seattle a year after I did, and eventually gaming started up once more. Relationships changed configuration, me moving ceaselessly from subject to object and back. Eventually, she married a guy named Bryan. She and he and I hung out together, traveled together, and more or less were good friends.
Two:
I actually don't remember when I met Bryan. He claims that I showed him my nipple pierce the first time he met me, which is entirely in character for me and I don't doubt it a bit. But there was a lot of other stuff going on in my head and all I really remember is that he was part of the group when gaming started up again. I noticed he was cute, of course, in a sort of abstract way. I wasn't being particularly attracted to guys at that point, so anything beyond that just didn't register.
He was quite firmly in the "friends" category until after I started dating Laura. At that point, I recall actually noticing that he was pretty cute, but I wasn't about to do anything about it.
Until, you know, I did. And things fell together like puzzle pieces.
Three:
We've known for a while that I was going to move in with Laura and Bryan. When was up in the air, but recently we decided to draw the proverbial line in the sand, and say, "There. That is when we are moving." When, it turns out, is "the end of September, this year".
And during the conversation that sprang from this decision, I mentioned that I've been thinking to myself, "I want to marry Bryan and Laura." When I asked myself why, the answer always came back, "Because I've found the people I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I just want to say it."
So we talked about that for a while, and sort of left it at that.
A couple of days later, it was Sunday, and gaming as usual. Things were a little bit odd, but it wasn't until they whisked me away, alone, directly after dinner that I started wondering what was up.
And then we passed the normal turn we take to go home.
And then we got on I-5.
We ended up in a little forested area by a beach in Burien, where both of them got down on one knee and asked, "Will you marry us?"
I believe my response was something like, "Of course I will!"
Afterwards, we went to Dilettante for rich desserts and much glowing.
It's been almost a month. I'm still glowing.
Four:
We set a date--May 6th, 2006. (We were thinking September until we realized I'd be in the middle of moving at that point, and we want to do an outdoor ceremony.) We're doing planning for this, and planning for me selling my house, and a million and a half other details that need to be taken care of.
But the best part, and the most important part, is that I'm involved with two of the most wonderful people on the planet. (More than that, actually. Three of the most wonderful people on the planet, but I'm only marrying two of them.) Laura's been a part of my life for so long that I can't imagine life without her, and both of them are kind to me in ways that very few people have ever been.
It is such a rare and precious gift that's been given to me, and I am still constantly amazed by it.
I think I may well be one of the luckiest girls in the whole world.
Actually, I know I am.
(P.S. I'm planning to wear red.)
