February 2nd; insecurity, oh my!

Sounds: Sarah McLachlan, Fumbling Towards Ecstasy Words: Joan Frances Casey; The Flock, an autobiography of a multiple personality hold on, hold on to yourself 'cause this is gonna hurt like hell hold on, hold on to yourself you know that only time will tell what is it in me that refuses to believe this isn't easier than the real thing my love, you know that you're my best friend you know I'd do anything for you and my love, let nothing come between us my love for you is strong and true am I in heaven or am I at the crossroads I am standing. So now you're sleeping peaceful I'll lie awake and pray that you'll be strong tomorrow and we'll see another day... hold on, hold on to yourself 'cause this is gonna hurt like hell.

'scuse me for not writing. i've been kind of busy, trying to keep myself sane. Good news: Shannon and I are currently getting along swimmingly. I finally came through most of the issues i had surrounding him (you know, all of that fun stuff about trust and the expectation of pain) and I'm finally putting the full weight of my commitment on this relationship. And for those nay-sayers who believe that I'm only going to change my mind yet again (and there have been at least three of them who have said so to my face this weekend) I say NYAH. I'm going to do what makes me happy and this makes me happy. Even if I've lost or alienated most of my friends in the process. Anyway. I'm also being kind of upset and stuff about Abbe moving here, but I keep talking aobut it with shannon and he keeps calming me down. He's had to talk me down from hysteria about this several times. But i think we've finally come to some sort of conclusion to the whole thing, and I'm much less nervous than i was. I am also learning to use a fabulously powerful search and replace tool. It includes all sorts of fun wild card searches. It's complicated to learn to use, but will be well worth my time to learn. [I found Zannah. it's all good.]

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